“There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”—Chuck Klosterman (via vintagefcuked)
Seeing someone you used to be close to, but don’t talk to anymore. You kind of just look at each other, and maybe say hi, or just walk away and pretend you never saw them. You act like you never even knew each other to begin with, like strangers.
When I think about it , It sucks really bad. Honestly I never had to worry about “that” I mean I put it behind me. But now that this has come up its just like I keep wondering what the fuck is happening or if its going to happen again . Smh.I guess its a hell of a thing.
Psychology is seriously like stressing me , I have this thing due tomorrow that I probably wouldnt finish until I ‘m twenty but because I’m getting graded I have to do it by tomorrow. The fuck so , I write too fucking much in this class. I wanted to start when I came home but I was too tired , I got no sleep last night and working on empty is just no my thing.
Listening to Adele’s 21 album. Whenever I have massive headaches or just need to relax , I listen tot his album. Idk why when its a constant reminder but something about it just calms me down. Silent crying is always the best.
everytime I talk to someone, after a while, I feel like they get tired of me. Like, I don’t feel like they wanna talk to me, so then the conversations start to die out, till’ the day we just stop talking & never talk ever again, & the cycle goes on.
I dont think you ever needed me. Yeah , I know you want me I guess that in its own way was obvious. But the problem with hat is you soon get tired of things you want. The level of importance with time. My problem was. I’ve never needed anyone either. But on an act of new love I let myself do all these things where its just hard to imagine anything else than what we’ve planned.Did you always know?. Was it that obvious ? all of this. You saw it coming. You talked about it all the time and I just didnt want to see any of it. I didnt want to be compared, I wanted to be better than they they were. I was so sure I could love you 10times harder. & I did this thing where I just made you the center of everything. Now. Now . . this. This is what it all boils down to. God that text message. Just everything is ruined isnt it. I refused to see any of this. I ignored everything. I feel like I’m trying to pick up all these glass pieces and their so sharp so I drop them. I drop them and they break more. & they leave these cuts and scars all over my hands. I feel like even though I know this I’m going to ignore it cause ” I need you so bad”. Gosh those dumb words, they do nothing for me. Such an understatement. Smh. That stupid text message. Is it dumb that all our love that we’ve shared , everything is just a plethora of text messages. & A few encounters that we cherish and yearn for each passing day. Smh. Why’d you send that to me. Its so disrespectful. Don’t you respect me?. I’m suppose to be your wife. I dont know how much is true anymore. God, what is true. Sigh.